Today's Journaling

I am trying to remember
That today is still the beginning of the rest if my life! The rest of my journey.

I too get sick.
I too get weak.
I too get dis-heartened.
I get scared.
I get anxious.
I fear failure,
And I get overwhelmed...

But I am trying to remember,
That all those things simply remind me
That I am beautifully human:
Not so perfect.
Not always Divine..
And still fragile in my own right.

But it is how I press on
That determines the next day.
It is how I understand the moment
That truly keeps my faith!

And I may fall,
And cry on my knees,
Even wishing for God to take me back home some days...

But the truth is, that when I look,
I know I want to stay.
I know I want to see what I can accomplish, and give before my death.

As I cry without fully knowing why,
I am reminded how just moments ago , I burst into tears, not knowing why..
As I read the medicine of the Opossum, and scanned over "play dead"...

The tears flooded..
It hitting something in my heart I still don't understand...
The tears,
Still coming!

Whether it has been being sick for a near full week, almost on my death-bed, so to speak..

Or Loving the impossibly blind...
Luring them, to God, of some kind..

Or whether it has been fearing, that with my sickness, I will not make my deadlines,

Or the burdens, burdens, of being one of the few of My delicate kind(s)...

I've had their words rattle in my head..
Almost defending myself, to myself..

And the strength of baring against minds too small around me..

Knowing there are larger out there, but directly to me, I carry the burden of mother, and friends alike...

And I'm just trying to remember,
That THIS ALL is the START of my journey- the rest of my life!
Not the middle, not the end..
But rather,
The beginning.

And that I don't have to take these hard hits, quite so seriously...

It's just the processing, and the time,
That begets me!

Against all views,
The Animals communicate to me...
Mirroring back my deepest hues...

Them, the Angels, the Gods & Goddesses..

Reminding me that to stand strong in this world, takes a mighty heart of delicacy...
And that as much as I fall,
I am always, ever, on time.

I have seen, how only few "Men"
Will understand my mind...

But as the animals speak..
And the signs carry me..

I remember that who I am is seen.

So when man pushes, and Mis-interprets me...

I may be reminded..
That man is not so good at seeing.

And I hope to just forgive against blades,
And move on.

It is how we take the day. How we interpret its magic,
And as we become overwhelmed, magic fades...
But it never goes away..
For it is up to us
To return.

IT
Will always be waiting for us.