Songs to Sing

I hymn for you.
Find myself Always wanting to share,
But how awkward the day when you find,
He really doesn't care.

There are vines wrapping my guitar and fingertips
Colors and sound emitting through hymns..
And there are many a soul wish it were they...
But HE..
Doesn't care...doesn't.

I gave him time.
Songs like hour glasses..
Never knowing mine..
Sitting on the other side,
End
Those sands of time..

Breathing u up..
Holding you close..

Still, still...
But at least now I know.
Giving me a peace,
Enough to let go.

In you I saw a Lion's heart,
Proud and strong like mine..
Humble, gentle..
At the core of your mind..

I've heard your words soft,
But took the worse of sides,
Knowing only sorry's
But not any actions to unwind.

And I can only assume,
The worst of what you spoke...
That it is as true as true you say,
Never careful with my sensitive heart,
By many, an abandoned, deserving decay..

There was something about your Sun,
Pulling me ever in, ever close,
'Til I was locked in,
Unwanted on the inside of your windows.

And when I tried to escape, it was late..
Already tied down by the fate..

And even if it was lessons alone,
A piece, loving, always takes.

So you can imagine it hurt- your words broke,
At least I expected them from Her..
But disappointment anew
On a scared and venturing heart,
Is an innocence shattered one can't undo.

Making it clear, I was worth to you, not much..
Which is fine when
A girl with a Golden touch goes recognized by the world alike,
But silly her,
Wishing it was you..

Your heart gentle somewhere,
Your poetry once shared before it was me and you..
Something so sweet and honest about you,
Until you let me in,
And shut me out..

I was better off,
On the outside,
Getting the best of you...

Sorry I invaded enough
To make you feel I was worthy of abuse..
Sorry I invaded enough,
To put you in with them...
Cuz that's not where I wanted you.

Sorry in general. that I couldn't heal or give enough to you..
But never sorry
That I cared..
Because despite that all,
You deserve someone to.

I'm just sorry, somehow, I came across ugly enough to you
That I deserved your worst.

Sweet girl giving her heart.
But not to you;
Dropped in the dark...
It never quite made it through.

No. I guess I won't apologize for loving you. Or seeing the good. Or trying to blind myself to your dark.
Crying even for the fact, that you deserved better from life..
But I just never realized,
You didn't want me to.

It's true. Despite all, not a day goes by that I don't think about you...
But I see so much now.
Heart version ripped off.
Ripped out,

And I'm just sorry,
I managed to be that ugly to you.
That "annoying"...

Sorry, that in all my patience,
I was unworthy of yours to you...
And only sorry I loved you,
Because of how you judged me for it.
As if caring made me weak.
Silly..because you are hard to love,
Though I could never help not to.

Maybe judging me,
Because who would be "foolish enough to love you"
But you have a gentle man in there somewhere,
And I hope you find your light,
And your peace,
Your bride, passion, and family.
I hope you find a spirituality that awakens you the way my dad grew,
Now, ever sweet. Ever giving. Even crying upon que.
For all these reasons and more,
I am sorry and not
That I loved you..
In your fragments,
In my care..

Enough to let myself take the abuse.
Enough...

But I see now.
And I just hope darling..
You find that peace.
Even if I just was here to plant a seed.
Grow your tree my love.
The growing Rowan.
I will never forget you.
For once in an Aquarians heart,
You never leave..

But maybe,
That just everybody.
Goodbye.
Goodnight.
Goodsweet dreams.
Delving deep.
I hope you find your peace, my sweet.
Your peace,
Dear Sweet.

So mote it be.