The Cat & The Mouse

I need to just not see you for a while;
Speak to you for a while.

You have been in here too long,
And I need to "erase" you...
"Undo" whatever it is
We've done.

I am asking God and the Universe
For help on this one.
Because you do not care...
You will not care to come back to burn...

I've kept thinking it's because you cared,
That you'd return...
But even your Stars, my love
Paint your alter-face
As one that toys to toy, just to toy...
The cat
& The mouse.

You have cleverly clawed to my heart, only to sliver it out,
And toss, toss, me and the pieces...
How you've conquered your clever little mouse..

But I am no Mouse, am I?
Rather,
I am here, being me...
And you are there being you...
And if I could, I would rip you out of my chest..but I can't...
So I pray instead.

I hate you...
Can I pray that away?
Loving you...
Can one pray that away?

I hate you..
For a woman meant to change the world...
Ought never to find herself enslaved by man..
Because then..
The world bleeds.

I have given you worlds of me...
My courage never seen..
My peace, never honored..
My face, never loved...

Angels, doves...
In plight
In your world, my Darling...
And I've somehow managed to stay by your side over all these months at a time...
But I can't stay here and rot any longer..
Pretending and trying not to care,
When it's true..
There's not a day gone by,
I don't think of you...
When it's true,
There's not a day gone by
You ACTUALLY give me reason to.

I've been your Mouse...
No compassion between The Cat & his toy...
I've needed so much more from you..
Than for you to play
With my life..
Play it away.

And if only I can find the strength...
To force you away..

Stay away from the bait...

Then maybe,
We both stand,
A fighting chance...

Because I know you must not need me,
Anyways.

And I, certainly,
Don't need to love a Cat,
That would merely play
To the death of me.

So I pray.
Pray.
Lord, my Heavenly God...
Keep me safe. Heal my wounds.
Put this Cat on ice, where my heart doesn't want to. Keep him away, keep me strong to do the same...and keep me safe, my lord.
I can't do this,
With him,
Anymore!

And so I know it is done!
And so I thank Thee & Your Grace!
Thank you for giving me hope,
As I endeavor to complete this Erase.