And all my fall-throughs.
I don't always know how to interpret the cries...
The cries in their eyes
That scream at me...
Literally, piercing, as lips sink Titanic ships,
And everything gained over a life-time,
How it can be lost in a day.
I am a different breed, and they have a hard time seeing me,
Understanding what they see...
Perplexed, by the ways I do things they wouldn't...
Just as I am to this world;
Her cruelty..
Her double-edged sword.
Not her at all though is it...
Rather...
The sword is Us.
I don't mean to speak in cruelties,
But they follow me as though I am a magnet in a free world;
Loving the impossibly blind..
Almost ASKING them to HIT me.
And I don't know how to stop Her bleeding heart, this magnet in me,
When I get caught up, day to day,
Goal to deadline...
Overwhelm to obligation..
I don't know how to quit
The UnPeace in me;
The Magnet that keeps drawing.
It is hard believing She will be loved better,
When all her life,
Sharp tongues have brought her down...
Cut her to her knees.
And even yesterday and now,
How that reality gleams...
Against bed-ridden aches and pains..
And in her mind,
Their cries echoing; screams.
I just want to believe my delicacy will be sheltered.
Winged.
Seen.
Instead of on my knees all the time crying.
Mustering all this damn strength.
Magneting the blind..
Trying to guide..
Trying to be loved by all the wrong kinds-
Lost,
In this world not my home...
Lost,
And trying to find my Grace.
Missing The Kingdom I knew.
Here, alone,
A Shattered blue.
Trying to muster Faith!
One foot,
In front of the other- today, tomorrow, another day..
And I'm still Praising Miracles.
Still holding YOU.
The music still sings to me, tears streaming.
The beauty comforting my fear, my agony...
The uncertain...
SOMEtimes, I don't know how I keep going,
But I know there are others questioning the same thing:
Other Warriors
Other Angels..
Other Human Beings,
All anguishing on days but still striving..
Not knowing how,
They keep going..
But they do, don't they?
They do.
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