To Hug

I'm not sure
How to process you're being gone.
I hug you, in my heart now,
As if you were right here before me..
But keep,
From picking up the phone.
I cry,
Because in a situation like this,
That's what you do, you cry.
I miss you already,
But dare not say..
Knowing it's better this way..
But I miss you already
And the house is already a different place
I do not know why I cry so,
Accept for maybe just that.
Shock...
Sadness..
Shock..
Sadness...

But there's happiness too.
Because I know we can be happy now.
Something, we both deserve to...

..I..
HAVE ALWAYS loved you.
Never taking back a day,
I'm grateful I got to.
I miss you, your things gone.
Has reality set in?
Dog in the bed with mommy now...
Now that there's no you.
A home for three, and now just two.

I slept in today.
Weird dreams,
Seemingly about you,
And this,
All of this,
And how you're gone..
And how I left you.

And the clouds gloomy,
When I know I have to be strong,
So I slap in some comedy,
But not before I cry,
And write,
And shake,
From missing you.
Not before I let some of this sadness pour out,
So I may be a little more clean today.
Reality wanting to set in,
In the midst of shock.
Shock.
And still just pacing one foot in front of the other to keep as if its an ordinary day.
Nothing ordinary about it.
Nothing ordinary about coming home to everything gone, no word..
But I stopped blaming you almost immediately,
Knowing you are only doing what you can for yourself..
And me loving you,
I can see this.
Already missing you.
Letting my sadness run.
I don't care what you say..
It will never be enough to undo us.
I let you go,
Bit hold our memory deep,
And your beauty more,
And your light, I give back in honor.
Never a day, I'll regret.
We loved hard.
Maybe scarred some...
But we got back up and we kept afoot.
I love you.
And hug you,
And miss you...

As it hurts...
To let you go.
But that is what love does,
When it is time.
So go fly.
I will always be with you,
Inside...