Unspoken For

Baby..

Babe..
I know you do not deserve that title..
But I miss you so....
Underneath,
Like a low hum.
A long hymn...

A longing to have you,
Physically,
Here beside me...
So you could stop running-
You won't.

And as "She" smiles to herself,
Side smirk,
Laughing almost out loud,
Because it IS such a joke!!..

I still just wish I could have that chance to love you...
Not sad...for once...
But curious...
Loving you enough that I want it to be you I can laugh with in the middle of the night..
You scooping me up tight...
Tired from sex and just wanting that "teddy"...

It's real though isn't it?
"What if, what if, what if?"...
Fuck what if...
Why aren't you here?!
Taking a chance to keep me warm one night of many.
Giving me a chance to let you be real?
May we make you real?

I'll take you in the real.
As you are.
Eating it up; not about the other stuff...
Just about time.
With.
You.

Yeah...
I miss you my baby.
Lodged so deep, so undeservingly,
For so long.
And it's a funny thing;
In many ways I don't mind loving you so...
THIS way...
But the real would be nice.
We'll devour the awkward and let the plight of the night roller-coast Heaven and Hell.
Make me mad. Tease me.
Then tell me you love me,
And "need me"...
Make me want it,
And I will give it gladly.
Missing you, My Lord.
Fuck,
Missing what you do to me.
While you go here hiding.
'Stead, force my abiding...
And write my heart into cages
You gladly, laughingly,
Toss the key away to..

Then,
Tuck me in, when I'm not looking.
And study me, when I'm "Sleeping"
And show you can fathom the tick-ticks of my universe, my Love,
For so long.

I need
A love like yours,
Dreaming of whipping that shit
Into chain-caged bending..
I'll Tsunami your beaches,
And trees.
And allow them to bend and reshape to me-
We'll make the land a new
Though the wrecked becoming Salvation's que.
You don't even know, do you?!
Stupid Lolly,
Baby..., ride or die me
Ride to quiet me,
And we'll tame The Beasts
Including the one's inside,
While riling the world into ride or die.

A love sweet and contradictory
Like marriage
To the death of the old,
And children to an emerged velocity of nonsense...
Making sense from miracles,
The the force that pulls two people to abide
By old childhood selves...

You don't even know, do you?!
Seeing you...
Having to pretend not to,
So your pride doesn't shoot stories tall...

Watching you stall...
And fuck you for this!
I would love to the smack the shit out of you for this,
And watch you smile...
At me...
Knowing the crazy comes because you drive this force in me,
Like Love...

Maybe Love..

Even though you're too scared to believe.

I'd love,
To make you real, to me.
Skin's awkward becoming a year's rising...
Overtaking,
Everything you've feared in seconds
Of now.
And now.
And more
Now.

Fuck you for doing this!
I wish I could hit you.
And watch you smile at me, thinking,
She's ridiculously fucking cute"...

You know the fuck you deserve it.
You also, ought to by now,
Be able to hear my voice
In your mind,
From memories of talk,
And know "she means it"...
"When she says I love you"

Not some hopeless romantic ideal of perfection...

But real.
Real enough that ya, I would love to hit and slap you...
Love for you to laugh...
Laugh...
Stead of this...
Nothing.
Nothing.
Miss you, baby.
My baby.
Always been my stupid baby!
Clever, too smart,
Angering me...
And I wish,
Submitting me,
And giving me a chance to let you talk me out of anger

In laughed seductions and deflections,
Of reward.

Reward me,
For this. All this.

And take me in.
And fuck that life out of Me...
Before tucking me in after I fall asleep.

Keep me..

Reward me
For holding you here.

I long to see
Past the ice-break.
What fun
There could be...

And yeah..
Love & Trust Undoubtedly...

Oh boy...

But that's silly with you,
My Lover Baby...

Ever hopping, hopping..
Uncaught.
& Determined.

"It is mean"...
She saying Laughingly...
Knowing it's ridiculous.
Ridiculous she loves this friend who's not such a friend I've known...
Unconditional,
As she smiles it away.
Wishing indeed,
She could get that once chance to make real and nullify
The unbroken Ice...
The "I'm afraid to"...
Questions upon questions,
Putting off,
You just here.
Devouring me...
As you always should
Have been.

As you should be.

No tomorrow.
Or Yesterday...
Just you,
In my bed,
Keeping me.
Scooped.
Done.
Sheltered.
Altered.
Reborn.
And all in that...

The next morning...

Waking up to you.

I would love that...
And hate it,
Till you allowed yourself
To love it too.