Shadow Dance

"Shadow Dance"

Those are the words that rest in my soul,
As I carry the memories of the Air...
And the tight Earth
That has wrenched me...
And squeezed me bare;
Dry.

My mind,
She thinks a 1000 thoughts a day,
And many many more questions than that.
And somewhere,
In this shadow dance..

I'm not so mad,
That THEY haven't called...

Or that SHE, never really knew how much I needed her all theses years...
With only me to blame,
That we haven't kept touch...

I play
To the shadow dance
And the choices I sit on this day.

Sad, definitely, a little...
But okay.
Evened out...

Because I have the memories to look back upon,
That embody forever,
That embody now...
And the inability
To get lost.

She may never know, how much I have needed her...
And it IS, my own fault...
Losing touch to one I loved,
Only to love the shadow
That would distract me so.

Even now...
I don't know if it is but a dream,
That she would still love me,
This friend of mine.
So young, and such ago a long time...

And how SHE was the first to bring me back to the light...
To Him.
My Jehovah.
My God, so deep.

I miss her so- the essence of me.
A twin indeed,
Spinning to the air.
The air.
How we
Were both air,
Down here...

And looking back..
I see.
Maybe I missed that opportunity.
Just like I miss her soul.
Just like she had so much I need...

But...like I said...
Maybe sad a little..though still how important for me to see...

To remember what I have always told myself...

"That she is never separate from me"...

That in her needed essence,
I still dance that very same life

In
And AS me...

And maybe it has been too long,
Since I have told her how important she is to me...

And THAT...
Is what makes me sad...

That I could be so naive!
That I could be sad,
Not to have her love,

When so much of it was up to me.

Needing her more, than she ever may have known..
Her love, innocent like mine.
Heart pure, like mine...

Maybe would have better reminded me, I'm not so alone.

But instead, how I've danced
This shadow life...
And gone wandering off into the darkness all alone...

When all along...
Maybe I would have done better,
To return home.

And so I say this now.
And hope, I can do better this time around,
To sturdy myself so.

To not go it, or feel so alone...

To CREATE a home,
Stead of running,
And running
Away.

"Shadow Dance"...

Because we need both sides..

The dark and the light...
To free our soul.

To free our soul.

To journey home.
And within.

I love them.
And I want to return home.

Finding a way to dance
The balance between
Life's hot & cold
Contrast and One.

A little light in my hole.
So I can finally make

That journey
Home.