This Time Last Year; Relapse

Okay...
Okay...

I'll wait.

Because it is a tapping on my shoulder,
By the ever around..

Because I know you are here,
Somewhere,
Listening...

Because when I know this,
I feel it..

Our love.
Exquisite.

And tomorrow,
I may rant. & rave...

Because the truth is, it hurts many days,
Being loved like this- coy.

It is raining.
The pavement shining...

And my walking a block, dripping..
Remembering the last time I had my feet bare, I was texting u my love...

Under a tree,
In night escapes away..

And every time you are with me...
Everyday...

I always felt good.
Heh...well almost anyway.

But at least,
It was always magic.

And I remembered my bare feet,
To dripping trees and puddled streets,
And u, there...
Not such a world away,
As u talked with me.

It has never left me, so many days.
Everything a memory
Of the shorts we allowed in.

But I remember quite a many of them.
And I don't know.

You know I don't...know...

How I'm supposed to do this.
But to try to just forget you?

Because nothing you do,
Keeps me at all...

Or keeps me safe...

Yet why do I feel you,
Eyes burning my back?

Always having wanted you...
In All ways,
Wanting you back.

But how I want to be mad enough to leave it! How could you do this to me?

I don't understand.
I've always kept thinking were were friends...

But no...huh?
Not really.
In your now, u dishonor me.

And I'm so bi-polar and split to u...
Doing this...
To me.
Ever wanting our chance...and to forgive...
But then..

Looking at reality.

Where there is dishonor.
Lack of honesty.
What of integrity?

Split, baby, split.
Loving you is so easy to hating you.
And u know this.

I have to find a way...
To say
Goodbye...

And I'm actually re-losing myself all over again trying...

Somewhere.
It was always easier to love you, than to be without you...

But I have always been without you...
And I guess that's why,
I'm Dying..

All over.
All over again.