Present Master

He triggered me,
And I cried....

I cried after being angry,
And then I just cried.

It came in a flood,
All at once,
Unexpected...

And I thought about Dad, and
I thought about more,
And I cried harder...
Tears flooding...

So much more.

You can not make someone love you,
You can not make them try...
You can ask them to see you,
But it is up to them and their why.

And I just feel it,
The gourd in my throat,
As I cry wanting to scream it out,
The sadness
In masses,
The lump becomes a pain, and I can't talk, tell or scream,
And as I cry, it feels in vain,
Because nothing
Is getting it out.

I cried. Hurt. Tried.
Tried.
Feels like I'm let down
Every time....
Ever having
To raise myself, rise
From the ashes, ashes,
That burn me down.

Ever having to go through the transformation
Of releasing my pain now...
Ever shifting,
Ever dying,
Sometimes doing it alone...
But when I am not, it is the Angels
Come and gone
And not the people whom I love so much or that love me....
It is the angels, that keep me free,
That stay with me...
For all others,
Come
And go...
At some point,
Or another...
And it is in my nature to release or cling
Release
Or cling...
And I do what I know I have to.
Crying to release the rain,
Before another day,
As the clouds clear away,
After tears shed.
The being in me cries,
The angels in me rise,
And the master is ever present
Observing
Observing
All the tides.