Ariel's Infinite Motions

I don't know.
I can not say
That it wouldn't be nice,
To have all notions and motions settled in me-
You know..
The ones that have gobbled up
The fragility
Of what it's like
To live life,
Not only walking on eggshells,
But creating and arriving at household milestones,
Only to chance that
At any ticking moment,
The rugs may be pulled..
And the foundations could crumble.

It may
Or may not be often,
That I give my thanks of gratitude over-
Or perhaps,
Mean it the way I ought to.
Today,
I said thank you to God,
That I could stuff my face with a frozen dinner... Re-membering,
That even that is quite a luxury here
In our side
Of what they call
"The free world".

And as I turn over the notions grounding themselves in my being,
I give thanks over, only some more.

Thinking then, how she had called me self-centered...
And while sure, maybe that COULD be true...
I am also world focused.
Dreaming Big,
Not for my own sake...
But more so,
For OUR sake,
The Planet and I.

And I think about the life she lives, as I ask myself, what she is contributing to the cause I have devoted my life to..

I get some answers.
The only one that matters however,
Is that she was wrong...
In the sense that her two-sided understanding of the word "self-centered"..
Is not my multi-faceted reason why...
To know thyself
Is key, I would think...
To changing the world the way I want to.

I mean,
Do we not all battle
With our place?
Our right?
Our purpose, and our unmet satisfaction to it's achievement?

As I write,
Do I, like my Father,
Question the use of it all? The purpose?
Is it indeed,
A selfish motion and frivolous practice for my soul?
But how can it be, if it is the thing, that gets me through life?

I might conclude,
That is the opposite of frivolous.

And yes, I do, I do,
Constantly have motions and notions swirling around in me-
Is it not my responsibility to turn them over, and figure them out,
Especially,
If they mean something?

Ooohhhh, I am. Always tired.
My light body heavy with this skin,
And the burdened gift I've taken to this life-
Empathy the heart
And hand,
Our our Great Mother-
Something that now lays on me
To carry on.

And I do.
I do.

And I have watched it go so mostly unseen...
So I forgive them, the blind, though try scorn and judge me,
For in many their lives, I assume for my own health,
They have felt this all too.
The blind don't know they're blind,
Til someone tells them, right?
Because until then,
They know of no label for their condition.
They just ARE.
We

Just Are.

I will probably spend a lifetime,
Saying the same thing...
In many different ways.
None of us, can hear it enough anyways.

But I am. Tired.
I am.
Thing is,
By now, especially now...
That's okay.
It is only the fate of today.
The past is past.
The future- outside of the now, and (sometimes) changeable.

So all that's left, is
This,
Right here.
This.
I am hearing that radio song again...
Her lulling modern tones,
And drifting off.

Excited.
Because tomorrow,
Is a new now.
And I will meet it,
With brilliant
Perfection!