No crumbs Anymore

No crumbs.
The search gone quiet.
Nobody on foot anymore,
Accept for me.

Clues lead to dead ends.
Nowhere.
To be seen, to be loved.

Not words of any nature to undo
The done.

Clues. Dead ends.
And all the silence is like worlds spoken,
But still not...

So what's real?

The silence?
The worlds beneath it?
What's real here between You and I...
And our worlds.
Our silence.
Where I feel as though you, perhaps have left me.

If I were a friend, you'd have shown you' cared...
So maybe I was only friend to you.
And if you were a lover,
Than you would have been a friend,
So maybe I was only lover to you.

It's not that I don't like my life.
It's much better now.

It's just...
I have been fond of you here, in it.

And I'm done trying to wrangle a rabbit down
That is wild with fear and chaos...
Ravishing with teeth and the messy unknown.

I am sad...
That it would be left like that,
And that I would have to leave it that way to stand up against letting you,

Hurt my feelings..
With only more cruel words that continue to make me the joke in all this.

I thought we were friends.
But as you said once...

You never said we were friends...
Which hurts deep down.
Yeah, I cry for you.
You don't see me enough as a friend to do any of the healthy things.

Apologize.
Communicate.
Ask.
Love.
Forgive.
See me.
Want to see me.

And I thought we were friends.
And I think,
I must have just been living in some fantasy world over what I thought had transpired between us.

Because this is sad...
Whatever it is here.
Between you and I.
And considering you have never much acknowledged or said that you value me,
Or any of the things I'd truly tried to do for you...
I...am left with this.
One-sided tales of trying to get out of this hole...
That I was stupid enough to let you dig for me, and put me in.

I worry about you. Ask about you. Love you. Want you to be happy, even if it means you find a girl that inspires love, compassion, hope, life...back into your life.

You just seem to show that you don't give a shit about me...
And yeah...
It saddens me...
Because I was stupid enough to think behind all the two-sides, and different faces,
You did care...

But you don't do you?

Well I have been a friend.
Loving you more than I ever wanted to. Caring more...
And it IS sad...

That you'd never knowledged me...
For how much I've tried to get around your affect on me, and still try to be here for you.
Of course...

Where were you ever for me,
In all this year...or two?

Not even an apology.
For being mean.
Breaking my heart.
Being careless with me.

That's where you've been. Adding on to my break.
Not taking my hand out of it.

I could judge myself for loving you...
But I'm just gonna leave it at
That I have two sides...

And one can love you if she is meant to...
I will just be here managing her back to wholeness with me...

Along the way.