Morning Text

Wake up. Wake up.
Time to wake up!

By now, please know,
I am just talking to myself.

Wake up call.
Awake to revelations, soon to come;
All of it a'stirring.

I think I must have cared like ache.
Being birthed to His Numb;
Revelations.

Wake up.
Revelations.

As I don't know how to take it? Already yelling at myself: "THIS is the closure you wanted, now RUN."...

What am I running from?

The last 24 hours have been "telling" like miracles indeed.
Having been sad and tired from loving, suddenly how I am face to face with it after I was done searching.
The car alarm blaring now, and I'm still lost in a trance outside to it enough,
I couldn't move-
I just don't want to- it is merely another bird singing right now.

And as I've let the morning slide into me...
Hours passed now...

I realize how much you would probably HATE me...
For loving you.

And I'm soaking in your drowned words...
Soaking in you...
Soaking in the hour you sent them, and the hours that have passed...

Watching it all, thoughts like wheels on a highway...
Me, I'm still.
Nowhere for me to go from here..

So I check a few things...noticing the tides in me pulling less than yesterday..

Trying to let love in
Without ever feeling like I have to let it go.

I can love you.
And her...
And it doesn't have to hurt, right?
Am I right about that?
It feels like I am...

And I'm just trying to make it so...
Get there so...
That...
When you say leave it alone...
I won't hurt
By you, in and out yourself.

Have we both not done both?
Oh fools.
Innocent young fools..
Making love hurt so.
Angry so.
...I know...

And I'm trying to find
THAT Agape Love...
Unconditional...time-brazen...
Letting go because there's nothing we can lose...

It's all us, anyways.
And I don't care if you're mad at me...
If I were to be brave, I would say...
How you have been good for me.
How you have made me search in love, and search myself, just to be able to love you.
To forgive you.
I'm angry too. Cussing you out.
But you're rarely assertive enough to really really care, right?
Don't really care, right?
Am I right?

Cuz that's a pretty good thing to know.
Maybe even
the thing I've been waiting for....