Maybe Broken

Slowly as time passes,
I check my Facebook less and less...
It won't lead me to you..
And I guess there IS better "stuff" to do.

Realizing there is only so far I can reach out to you
You would be surprised how much
I am still able to...
How far I am reaching,
For anything from you...
And even still,
How I find u in pieces,
In the bits and crevices...
Maybe even "Everywhere".

I AM sad...and I guess that's okay

"Why do we do what we do?",
Us humans?

Under...
Baby...
There is you...
And I am definitely heart broken,
No sense of it..now ever correcting my spelling,
For the words where you've managed to...

Everyday, you're in the air...
Being breathed up by me,
As my everything needs
THAT something you give me-

Give my heart...my chest, my lungs..
Everyday,
Taking you with me,
Even when I decide to love.

Bringing love letters out in me...
Over oceans, Through time...

Ever gone.

And my heart,
She is definitely broken...

But I also know,
On the right day,
For the right passerby-er,
With the "right sun" and ample conditions,
My heart loves as though she's never known anything other than.
Bright. Brilliant. Flawless.

My heart is sad over you.
Maybe broken because with you in there,
It is a bit hard to love another...

Though not..
Impossible.

You have ALWAYS been gone

To me.

I shouldn't be this sad...
But it's deep.
Enough to make me want to say no to love...
And shelter up...
Missing you so...

Sad, you've never given me much than this way you leave...
And then
There's the draw in between
You and me, and I can't tell..

I can't tell...

If its just me, that feels it like life pulse and breath..
Heart beat. Meaning,
I NEED you...

Just even in the small things...

But you have always been gone to me...

True abandonment with no word-
How you suit the mechanisms of my history.

The surprising part is how much I have forgiven you
And still loved you...

And I can't tell...

If that is a flaw...
Or if somehow, it makes it Love?

I know I love you.
But WE know love isn't perfect.
Hell! Love is treacherous and snake-like.

But it's also,
All that mystery.
So much mystery. So much unseen force. So many why's that may never go explained!
Why do I long for you?
Why would you not say why you won't respond?
Why would I subject myself to this?
Why,
Am I just waiting to forgive you?
Waiting for you?

Will you not stop my waiting.
Or must I? As I've tried?

So much mystery.
And I wonder...

If it is "Love-Force", all this mystery?

You have been cruel.
Have I?

I would like to know.
Anything that might allow me back in so.

This is not a move, is it? On your board?
Or have you called your own bluff?
How much, I don't know.

I've packed the things you've left in my heart all up,
But Your Love won't seem to go.