The Train

I love you.
Thank you for forming a friendship w me;
For being
Gentle,
And kind...
With no agenda but the obvious and intended.
Thank you for making your intentions known,
And for telling me you miss me.
For talking to me everyday,
And not being afraid,
Even though,
There seems so much to fear.
Thank you
For swooping me up,
And being my knight,
Amongst thieves; wolves.
Thank you for holding me tight, giving me a chest to breathe on, a love to run to,
Before I even knew where I was headed.
Thank you for seeing me.
For laughing in the midst
Of Us,
You & I
And everything that comes out,
Day by day,
Ever keeping my intrigue.
Each day,
I have been afraid,
You will slip away, that I will hurt you...
But each moment we meet again,
I love you more,
Finding myself saying it in my head,
And I know it's crazy,
But I know you are saying it too;

Even crazier.
I have unsettled business, and skeletons,
And I am just trying to part them enough that nothing I do- no foolish mistake,
Will break us, before there is even a "We".
But...
My cauldron is boiling,
And boiling over,
For another...

And I
Just don't know how to temper these "demons"
Because I am not sure that is what they are.

So..
Each day,
Is what it is, calling forth
A new faith.
Calling forth,
That which will emerge...
And there seems to be a smart choice in all this...
But I am not always such a smart girl...
And I am torn..
Between
My two worlds,
Worlds away.

I do not want to say goodbye with any piece or being of my soul...for I have tasted him...and he, at his moments,
Moves the earth in me and trembles my core...
...but in You...
No one deserves it more...

So thank you...
Not for being second, but for so badly wanting to come in first.
For running the race, knowing I might not feel the same,
And for being so steady and steadfast,
That you are turning,
Even the gaze of this beguiling fawn away...

But...

Beguiling fawn likes her worlds away...
And so day
By day,
I make my play,
And I know I need to watch carefully..

Watch myself.
Because yes,
I love you,
But
While I am still busy,
Loving
Someone
Else.