Jazz Cloud

Like my life,
My genius rambles on bumbling keys
Playing that jazz melody,
In chaos, I've said I despise...
You know,
That one melody that's different every time,
Because it is the chaos; the sound that just plays through
That one time...
The jazz that is noise?!

But I feel it-
The drift through it,
Playing the trillions of tempos that mimic heartbeats
In all their moments.

I feel the chaos chasing
And racing against time-
Running
As if, if it doesn't go fast enough,
It will catch up...
It will run out...

I
Don't know what
I am doing
Each day...
But letting it
Ramble on by...
The chaos of my mind engorging any Discipline
That was once wired there.
Now...
Everything's a blur...
A cloud around my head,
Like heading away from a bomb.
Just stumbling through rubble
Trying to find any-one,
Anything,
That I can understand,
Beyond this explosion.