The Importance of Days Like These

It is sickening...
The war in my blood,
The toxicity fighting as the light pushes it out..
The shaking internal
The loss processing...
I am watching the spring emerge something
And take so much away...
I am feeling the heat push my headaches into pain...
I am nesting in the sweeping breeze at night,
And in a bed alone again...
But not lonely...
Maybe just sad
As it is the end
Of an Era.
Being the in between of God and Man
Means having days like this..
Watching..feeling...
Attempting not to get to caught in the seen.
Attempting not too much to determine what it all means,
But rather
Just to surrender...
Surrender to the that which is coming...
Surrender to the God eternal,
And the faith that I am so actively choosing to be...
Surrendering to the death of a girl, something for so long, I used to be...
And watching emerge each day,
Some new expression
And all the chaos that comes with the new;
Love and fear alike.
I am watching,
Watching,
Feeling, and watching some more,
Some days so scared of not allowing what I am searching for,
And other days, so available to the obvious bliss...
My Dear God...
I kiss...
I kiss thee, let thee embrace me,
And wrap your arms around a tired and sullen heart today.
For I know you see me;
Know you commend me;
Know you know I deserve every arm that would show me love...
So to the universe this day,
I embrace this awakening; the emergence
Of something new,
Something profound...
And I just take what little step I can,
Some days a crawl, somedays a leap,
Knowing for you my God,
It is always adorned.
This is the reason I serve thee...
Because your love is real, unconditional, endless...
It is something I need,
While I am here on Earth...
So I just want to thank you, from your God-daughter spirit,
Back to thee...for I can see now, however hard,
The importance
Of days like these