The Disappearing Act

 

The more I think about it, 

Had you ever been a friend? 

Had you ever concerned yourself with me? 

Did you once show up over the years? 

Did you console me when I needed a shoulder? 

The more I think about it...

Hadn't you always disappeared? 

Had you ever been here for me, 

When I needed someone the most? 

Maybe once since our little theatric play out 

  Of Cruel Intentions. 

Maybe once. 

But my boyfriend had to be there for that. 

So what of it was even real? 

The more I think about your disappearing acts

The more you remind me of my cowardice Father. 

Never there. 

Always making excuses not to be. 

And it angers me. 

It angers me...

Because maybe your presence might have made every difference in the world. 

Maybe your friendship, 

  Might have altered our entire destiny. 

But had you ever extended that, 

  Hadn't you also rescinded it? 

Didn't you abandon 

  any thing between us, 

Whatever it was; whatever it had a chance at being? 

Didn't you abandon me again? 

No words to excuse yourself from the table or the home? 

Just a disappearing act. 

and I had wondered earlier this evening...

I had wondered...

What if without your love, 

  Her love was destined to wither? 

What if by never accepting the offer 

 at each event we might have had the choice...

What if you doomed her as well? 

What if you were meant to....

But you just never did? 

I suppose she will just continue to meander in her existence, 

And make way of her own...

For what choice have you given her?

Never worth your words even. 

You wouldn't even give her that.