Four of Swords: Gestation

 

I am fully restoring. 

 Tightened up. 

Surrendered utterly

  To the loss of time and the blurring of hours 

As they cover the days & nights 

In cycles completely upside down. 

Time escapes. 

But I have layed myself up 

In the pouring in 

and pouring out. 

There is no will here, 

But to restore. 

The will to do nothing

As a perfect act of Self Love. 

To Soak in the bath

To Soak in the Bed. 

To scry deeper and cleaner 

In sleep 

and soft studying hours instead. 

To enjoy the language of Spirit, 

Symbols and Signs in my Head..

My heart rests also in loving you...

A secret of Lock & Key & Chest. 

Recovery, all I am at present; 

Living one life completely within 

That is all mine, that only He can share 

   When it is time...

And the rest, the rest...

Mostly just droned actions; 

The everyday tasks, 

And what he asks...

While I steal away in all the off hours, 

As I take back what is mine

In silent vindications and retreats. 

In the stowing away of my sacred heart,

and the rolling examination at my feet. 

In the sacred gestation I now engrave 

Loving what I miss, still seeing His face- 

An armored Love. 

Armoring Me. 

You sacredly, breathing with me. 

Sleeping as I sleep. 

Loving as I love. 

And here, I will restore with Spirit and You...

Before the season breaks once more...

 And newly fathomable moves 

   are made.