6am Tears

Early morning tear.
6am.
Awake and She's not here,
Asleep 6am.

Awake
And it all wants to come crashing down;
Stop-landing: the pit of my churning gut.

Everything's different now.

..different now...
And I'm trying to go back,
Or
Some other way...
Awake...
But I'm trying to do this awake.
Heart knocking pounds of air from me-
Too early for this.
But it starts.

I am on a merri-go-round..
Spinning, dizzier, losing..
Sight and blur blend
As I lose my place in the world,
Traveling over ground.

What place do I have in a heart like hers?
What place do I have,
And why is it lonely here?
Scary? Secluded? Imprisoning?

She scares me...
And I cry and tremble.
I don't know what I've done...
Or what's to become;
Cigarette lit and shaking.
What to think?
Who to be?
Cigarette lit and shaking.

She's asking so much more of me than I meant for her to...
Question is,
Am I doing the same?
Stomach growling;
Churning a dense air..

Words. Love.
Action.

Put your love in action, I beg...

Because its not easy here...
In this 6am tear.