Shaking to See

So much can be felt in the hour right now...and I am adrift in it all watching it come and go..lost really...in the flow.
it's a little too free, a little too rampant,
and I
am scared.

It seems dark in here,
and I am trying to see if it is something I swallowed?

What did I swallow?

Chewing. losing.
it is dark in here, feels like no air..panics in strides, shakes in moments at a time,
nicotine feed, nicotine free..

I'm shaking.

She stares out the window, but glances at me;
I'm shaking.

What am I not seeing, Im shaking to see...
trying to steady,
sit back and pace and not be so antsy-
but I'm shaking to see. 

Trying to see
What really matters here..
Looking past what might seem to ONLY be...
I look beyond..

And..
It's Dark in here..
and I find myself now..
Afraid to see.