Amongst the Ether

 

The anxiety is real 

   when I tune into you. 

Yes, I am receiving the messages

   you are sending. 

A million words want to flood and rush

   to comfort you, 

And none of them seem enough. 

You are with me when I lay my head to rest, 

  whether I can manage to sleep or not. 

You are in me, of every quiet and unmoved movement; 

 Sometimes in angst, 

  and any time I manage to relax afterall. 

I know your fears. 

I know your heart. 

I know you have secrets. 

I know you fear I will reject a real version of you. 

I know why you hide. 

  and...

You are right; I do not know if I can trust you...

  

   though deep down, I trust I can. 

I would reach out, 

   but it is not my hand...

and the dark thoughts takeover. 

  You responded not to me...

    ...but to him, 

   wondering if that at all is a testament to where loyalties lay. 

  

  I can not fault you. 

  I love you too much. 

I can only now, 

   as I ever have, 

   Hold you where you remain; 

     Here with me, inside, 

        and locked away. 

I am holding space for you.

In that home, you are laughing, 

  Free, 

   Bright, 

     Curious, 

        Enjoying life's little pleasures;

           Enjoying life's blessings and miracles. 

In this space, 

  You love yourself 

      An a way that unravels, and expands...

  Because you have finally tapped your well. 

In so many ways, 

   I know you so well. 

My distant flame, 

   Burning ever in me; 

       A blood that runs through us both, 

          and occasionally howls against the moons! 

I hold space for you. 

   (and) 

  If what I feel is any indication of some mirror in the other, 

  Then yes, My Beloved...

       I understand the tare at the chest. 

          I feel you as I always have. 

Tuning into a broadcast, I can not tune out. 

And I am holding space for you. 

  To see yourself through my eyes. 

     Curious. 

       Loving. 

          Impressed by a beauty that emits 

               Soul to soul. 

All darkness temporarily rendered void. 

  For I have eyes to see. 

 No...

We are not the dark things we resist. 

We are the choices we make. 

We are a vastness beheld by 

   "The NOW"- 

We are expansionists...

  Unless we get in our own way. 

This day, 

  The rain falls. 

      I won't call...

  But I always think of you, 

    Especially anytime the weather changes. 

Hold space my dear. 

   Take courage to your fears. 

  and maybe come find me, 

     If you still dare. 

I have gone no-where; not really. 

  I have gone no-where...

   that you haven't gone with me. 

(And) if time and space are a construct...

   Then nothing has ever, 

       Seperated us at all. 

Not since we took our initial fall, 

   together. 

 

   and so in love, 

  

I hold a space perhaps you refuse to hold for yourself. 

I hold for you, 

  That you will find and follow your bliss, Darling. 

Find and follow your heart. 

If not this life, I will thank you in the next. 

  We will meet again. 

But my Wings and Soul have always sheltered you, amongst other realms...

  and there is no difference 

      In this one. 

In Loving Regards, 

    ~Your Flame