Hollow-gram

 

Blind Faith. 

What is here for me, is no more a daily walk 

  Nudged ever by forces external of me

Trying to find a stride somehow still, 

  On my own. 

His words echo of all the betrayals and too-lates. 

They echo of promises broken, 

  And intimacy held long at bay 

For the purpose of his delights alone. 

and here, I am...

Beholden in service to a mad woman; 

A woman who claims herself my mother, 

Yet sucks up my soul, accidentally, demonically, and without mercy. 

Using me is what comes natural to her; 

  Loving me however, always a hollow and narcissistic void I could never claw myself from. 

  Her love hurts. It wrecks the spirit of any daughter. 

  Just as his, has. Their words echoing of such disloyalty, and false facades... 

  that I might keep the line. 

Their words ever coming back to me, forcing myself the question: 

  What have I done to deserve this? 

Such a loveless and deeply shaded arena here; 

Playing roles, while my soul screams go un-noticed. 

While my strings are pulled, and I dance. 

While my mouth is sowed shut, because it is not needed. 

A Hollow-gram. 

That is what being of service has done to me. 

To remain here, forced to love him. 

  as he will not release me, without a war. 

To remain here, serving her. 

Hollowed out, every hour, 

  More and more.