The Doll

Like Gold. 

Fingertips do reach 

       for me.

I paint, you abed, 

On your stomach, 

Eyes seeing

Me watching back. 

I love you, where you stay; 

Painting you in watercolor this day, 

But watching your eyes reach for me, 

As I touch your human face, 

Flesh and bone, 

And the lips I long to kiss so. 

I imagine, your flesh in my hands, 

Your eyes, and watching them go cold, 

When looking at me. 

I imagine, you would hate the way my warm body, lights your heart, and the way my eyes, will scare you. 

In my dream, you love me. 

I reach for you now, 

Missing you now, 

Missing something everyday, 

Never given. 

I have begged, yelled, cursed, and charmed to get yes's out of you. 

I have listened to the swindle of beats and Rythyms in the nights, to love affairs and winds while thinking and awaiting for you from so afar. 

Like a little girl dreaming, and trying...

Til alas, 

So many a time, you shoed me away; swatted at me, like a dog, and broom in hand. 

I remember nights, had and never had, between you and I; 

Dreams indeed do die. 

And new ones 

Get dreamt up. 

I know, what our ration tells us, 

Is that far enough in, 

I might come to my senses- reasons you push, and reasons I push back. 

Reasons you run, and I follow. 

But it is the in-between that snags me; 

That keeps me...

Listening into the wind for you. 

Looking into the sky for you; 

Waiting.

Waiting. 

Irrational 

As ever. 

When I should have been running; 

I had bound my soul to you. 

And indeed, 

It would seem, 

You locked me, in a glass cabinet...

Soul and all; 

Willing to take, but not play with the doll. 

I had loved you; 

But she was your Clown, I. 

I...was the doll, 

You never enjoyed, 

But sadisticly; 

Like me. 

As is stands, 

I miss what would be mine, 

For the moments I would take you. 

Sure now, that if you let me, 

You would be cold and done, 

Just as you always have been. 

Cold, and undone. 

And done. 

And owner, to a doll, you keeper locked away in view, though rarely, 

Will you free her, to you. 

Arms stretched. 

Fingertips Gold. 

Eyes Abound. 

I've always been falling now. 

Falling now. 

Staring at you, through the glass; 

Sealed to my fate, 

Though ever in love, 

With something cold and dry. 

Waiting. 

Waiting for one day, 

For you to have a change of mind; 

Heart. 

For you to change your heart, 

To what in me, 

You have locked away, 

On still what is, 

A very cold day.