Reality by the throat

I've put down smoking it away...
Left to feel
It All.
Blood boiling,
Temper raging-
Shaking reality by the throat,
Hoping to snap some sense into that
Crazy B!tch!
But....
She just screams, afraid,
Unmoved,
And I have to implode, instead, and
March back to where I came from.
Reality unhampered,
Me dead,
Dying, crying,
Telling myself I will not be beat!
"Fuckkkk You", I scream,
"I will not be beat!"
But reality shows quite, frankly,
A different cause,
As I am immobilized in bed, and counting the days when I will force myself up again!
"I will rise" I cry,
Against this bleak depression
Against this deadening drift!
"I will rise again",
With my Angels, since it is not at the hands of the people I love!
"Fuck" those lies!
That's what they are!
How selfishness turns into my supposed opportunity,
Then fine!
I will accept my fate,
Of making up for this brutal lack of!
Accept this rediculous opportunity
Of doing the work for them!
Accept the ridiculousness of human beings!
Because it's either this or drown!
So fine!
You want me to be the big mature fucking adult! Then fine!
I will!
I'll do,
What you obviously can't!
Because its what I've been asked to do my whole life anyways!
So here's to us!
A big fat fucking toast,
To the work I will put into this relationship,
As you leave me high and dry!
Happy now?
Happy still?!
Good, I guess!
Cheers, to our bullshit!