Saturday, August 26, 2023

The Deer's Soul











Field flies. 

As far as the eye stretches


The land is on fire, 


Reduced to a begrudged simmer 

 Of death 

And uselessness. 


Coaling embers of wood puffing

  The wind fanning the endless char in the sky. 


The air is fowl of cow manure

And both rotting and burning flesh;


uninhailable, 


Like a promise of your demise to follow. 


A Black Plague

Come in the form of fire. 


A dark soot filling the lungs and the Earth. 


It is the end, 


   For their eyes...

Are all lifeless. 


They died, eyes wide open, staring still at me somehow, 


Preserved in that moment in time, 

  Knowing they lost, 


As the death took them, 


But not before the sickness did. 


For it was the sickness, 


That managed to lock them in time-staring openly forever 


Dooming their soul, 


As never did they reach heaven, 


And I, 


Just stood there, 

Staring back. 


Satan had landed in this world, 

  And I lived now, 


To see the result. 


It was to end this way. No Justice. I witnessed. We all witnessed. And nothing could stop the momentum He put into play. 


Now the world is on fire, 

And my death soon to be the blank stare 

 

Of this deer's soul, 

Gazing back at my own. 


Our fate, 


Was always, 

Ever


Death. 

Saturday, March 18, 2023

The Butterfly and the Bee




The Butterfly and The Bee
  Their sting from such two worldly things


two lives,
sharing sky
crossing paths

never meant to be

Thus was the tale of
  The Butterfly and the Bee.

one industrious
  the other ornamental perhaps

one loyal,
  the other free

dedicated to one cause,
  both share one purpose

    even an entire sky.

the bee returns home, working into oblivion
  the butterfly to her own, but both of another colony. 

Her sting is carried in her transformation, and then her beauty. 
  His, in the industry of loyalty-

  one cause. 

The Butterfly, To Pollinate Life
  The Bee, to Pollinate his Queen. 
  He also has no stinger.  His is another. 

An absence.  An impossibility. 


But Just because

  Could never be. 

Can Never Bee.

  For He dies by the hand of mating. 

Swift through this life,
  perhaps they will meet again

  with a suitable capacity. 

This life, never meant for more..

than merely, that which it is.

  A butterfly Can love,
  but I wonder,

Can a Bee?



The Ten

 



My heart breaks in silent 

  Compound fractures 

With every whisper of the alcohol on your breath. 


My heart dies a little, everyday, 

  Eating it's own allies, as the taken for-granted leaves less and less light 

 To live by. 


I am a waste-away, haunted shell-like hollow- 

  Chasing a billowing smoke 

That casts a shadow 

On the rendered near. 


Exposed, for what I could never amount to, 

 A vessel forlorn with the grief 

  Of bad luck, 

But heartbreak the 10 daggers. 


Ever emerging from the darkest ash, 

  From an even deeper chasm in the earths hollow mound, 


I am only me, when I am turning over, 

 In transition 

  Between ivory towers 

Dying a death in love. 


Confused in love

 Wanting none of it


Rendered null against your Sun

 losing 

Self. 


Feeling perhaps as small...

  As you want me. 


Back into the darkness

  I fall. 

  Once more. 


10 daggers below. 


And then 

 

I will Rise. 

Wednesday, March 8, 2023

Savior

 



Savior


I will find your kingdom, I will. 

  

Promise. 


While the streets are patrolled, 

 And the underground trafficked...


I will find you. 

I will. 


I will sift through your Holy Book, 

 and I will sift through theirs...


And I will count the lost tracks I have left behind, 

 As I stumble into the abyss, aiming for Your Light. 


I take up the pieces from the streets, 

 Teddy bears covered in splattered blood, 

Baby shoes left in piles....

 

I will cry and press on, weeping for these your children, my kin. 


All I see is dust and disparity, 

  Death in their eyes and depravity...


I am trembling and anxious in fear, 

  But it is my walk, 

And I will not stop- 


I will find your kingdom, 


And beg you. I will beg you...

To help these people....


And know that it is still a long shot. 


Why then, 

 Do we, your children, remain so devoted to you? 


I will never know, stumbling through to your light. 


Is it that the Devil got ahold? 

 What power of you against him? 


The children, 

They are raped. 

Their lives are sacrificed. 

Their cold naked bodies, thrown away. 


Where are you then? 

Who puts upon them this to endure? 

Tainting their souls forever. 

Breaking them past many lifetimes. 


What, 

If they can not evolve? As they tread water, as they drown? What of them God? 


Where is your Holy Power? 

Your Holy Place? 


Where is this savior, so many thought themselves promised? 


I will....


Find you one day. 


I will.  


I think we are all, 

Expecting some answers. 

Especially those of us, 


That still believe in you. 


 

Friday, February 26, 2021

The Blizzard's Ember




The Depth in a tear

Goes out like a shattered cry in a hailing winter blizzard 


Man...sometimes seems not to know

  The carrier pigeon of the woman's role between God and Man.


My fire was snuffed out to a simmering ember many a winter ago...


My ancestry lost, in the abandoned history of broken hearts and incarnation's egoic slide 


Music would tell the slights and chasms of every crack like stretching strings and scratching ironies. 

It would reveal our every philosophy 

And all our moral dilemmas 


Before going on into the abyss 

  To only produce on... 

  And on.


We are such a fervent and fiery death, and we blaze on forwards, into a ceaseless end 

  In the night sky

  And promises 

That something will continue on, 

In our dying and raging glory. 


Little did I know, 

  The storm would hold me- 


Hold me like a blanket of white I'd never had the privilege of prevailing in. 


I froze, hibernating fast

  To the shock of the cold 

That would take over my life. 


My ember contained; a small orange ruminating on the inside- kept away 

From all pain; everything dark. 


I promised myself I would not die today. 

  That I would not give up on my life, 

Or my dream...or the things that lean me to tick, even if restlessly.   


It is a shattered windpipe, but not a goated breath.  


It is a broken globe of a dream, but a reality that lies in the wake. 


And winter's blizzard

  The life and death of it all. 


Violins scathe as the winds beat the red out of once a cold brow. 


Now, 


There is just defeat...

  And the rebirth of the next life. 


In the distance, I hear the angels haunting sermons of hymns.  The torrent howls...


And I am marching home. 


A wolf now...

  to a sea of white sand, and paw prints

Heading under a moon. 


We can't hear them all the time...

  But when we do...


We must stop

  And breathe the midnight air.

Howl. Run home. 

And leave the winter behind us, 


Til once, we must, 


Meet again. 


A running home. 

A running from. 


A deep and sincere psychology 

So, so sacred. 


So...forever overlooked. 


The ember, is the woman's soul. The wolf, her transport. The Blizzard, is everything else. 


It is man, and life, and God. 

It is timing, and death. 

It is synchronization 

With chaos. 


I am ruminating. 

And all else, 


Rages against me. 

Even the silent stillness 


Is a dissonance.


The dilemma is life. 

The storm is the music and the chaos. 

It is the love. 

It is the gestation of all that is willed out of our understanding. 


It is, 

  Forced surrender. 


Death, for life. For the hope of something beyond all this. It is a chance. 


A chance that we continue 

  

   To burn on...

Sunday, October 4, 2020

Slipped

 And just like that, 

          The ring slipped off 

                             my finger. 








Saturday, June 27, 2020

The Promise of the Tribe



   In a winter of freezing earth,
I am reminded of my birth;
 born in the severe, with yet the horizon of Spring as Promise.

I have lived as any good woman, humble and defiant.
 Experienced in love.
Listening to the only voice I know.

  Religion, was never the Promise.
Spring was;  The renaissance of Man, and sound.

Not blood and crowns, though it is a history
 we must honor,
for it is history, itself- the telling of the story of man,
that is honorable.

  Tragedy, Comedy, Romance, act as genres of gesture- how life is perceived and carried out.  War stories continue, thrillers are sought, and  power bought
as scores are made to depict and create feelings; to evolve us, and our understanding- for music is some true language of the soul.  Humans, the expression of this, the most, for we have created a true bridge to God through our language with instruments.

As heavy as it is,
 light we must make it.
and love, we must forward,
 for the world is drying up.  She is crying, and in drought
and the guides of this world bleed in tears,
as so do I.

Yet see I...that Spring has arisen,
  and Spring is on her way.

There is a warmth to the air in the Horizon-
  a thrill looking on, towards the Sun;

towards the profoundness of Hope.

There is something, bone chilling,
in the depth of man's accomplishments,
and this time spent on earth.  Like an antelope becoming present and alert to a sudden sound in the grass, so some of us are forced in the alike,
to these moments in history passing before our eyes.  Imagine the world watching,
when Hiroshima Hit.  Or when The first rocket blew up on live television.  or when we witnessed the twin towers, hit, in live time.  Like alert animals, we arose, focused on the TV, as if we were watching it before our eyes.

We are a tribe, the peoples and nations of this planet.  We are a Human Tribe- A Race.
It is a beautiful and mysterious existence- and yet we are connected by the history that catalogues our birth as a race, our evolution, our rise, our falls, and our in-betweens.

I've heard the most beautiful music on this planet.
  and I've had a heating blanket to get me through the tough winters.

and the sun, still always,
  finds a way.

As does man, Music evolves with us, bridging something
 much purposeful.

The enchanted comes to life here.  we, as Humans have always found some nature in us, to see to this.

And so had God.

Swayed, I bend to the flow here; natures torrential even of emotions,
but so the winds and tides of elements rage on us.
Bringing destruction,
  but always more life.

Bringing life...
  but always, more destruction.

Conclusions, and recanting.  Seeds are always sown here.  Always laid.  Ever grown;
 and where Faith has never died, no matter how many times,
we've faced threats of having it snuffed out.

Always a formidable foe.  Loving never enough till an unknown time would  make it so,
when by usually, all would seem too late...

  and that seem s the summation as well of man.
Ever arriving late.

  when we do however, we arrive with a vengeance.
The Wrath of the Titans.
as once the Gods' DNA may have given life,

to our own.

Arrive...I think, we have.
For it is The Winter of Spring.

Something far off in the background has changed the skies.
The Air.
Like Special Forces at work.

  and though the ground is cold
the shiver in my bones bracing the chill...


I look up, to the horizon.
and I feel the warmth of Spring as a promise.

The Antelope of my tribe look as if all honoring some sky King,

and I look,

and see God's hand

reaching down.

Has God shown himself to me all along?

Had I but need just the eyes to see? As clear as day?

and like a vision,

it swept away, but left a sweet feeling; a security.

The antelope knew food was on the way,

as so I too, saw justice for the first time.

We all breathed, letting go the holding of our concern.

The sun, had a promise now, pf a swift return,

and I saw God,
for the first time.

all it took,
was man,
man's music,
and me.








Monday, June 8, 2020

Two of Swords



If ever there was a day
That I was meant to be loved,

It would be now.
To be loved by you.
But you have been a ghost.

And that ghost, has been haunting me with possibilities of promise,
where there has only been carbon underneath.

I stop my habit to reach for a smoke,
or a drink,

and I am forced to sit with the empty proposal,
of another day
of your soul's absence.

Am I loving Ghost's or are they chasing Angels? 



Knotted, My Capacity. Tight and wound up. Lost and aimless.
Holy unfound.

How terribly hopeless it has all felt...like staring into the hole of your future,
Trying to find a place on a timeline you know will never be there.

I had always wondered if you could ever love me like this, suspect somehow,
if I was just fooling myself...
or if you were.

Riddled by nothingness.
And I'm wondering how I could feel that way...
if you love me.

Ash in my mouth.

Thursday, April 2, 2020

Fallout of Love




It's an addiction
To hate myself at every core
 After the fallout of it all.

Like a sinking,
  The desert is desperate
As a slow but omnipotent notion of inevitable dark death-
 The one that smells of rotting flesh
  And soul's long gone from this Earth.

I stop myself from leaning over the edge
 But feel the force like a magnetic gravity pulling me past the Ground's surface.

Every thing I have ever wanted

Had been ripped from me,
 Time and again.

I rest now
  On the faint teeter
Of being loved by a man, who's emotions are chained by ghosts

While my dreams continue to fade into the distancing background
And my breath slips from me

As I let go.

I never had any business loving in this world.

Nobody told me that,
But I tried anyway.


Saturday, March 7, 2020

Bad Blood; Re-Union of the Angels

Bad Blood


Tell me you love me.
And we will wrap the madness tightly and send it into another life. 

I left you 
In an ages from now rebirth.




Kissed you goodbye. 
And here, we would meet again, 
But that is all it would be. 

I watched you. As if something in you, I had recognized in some mystery to my curiosity. 

And as you approached, 
I found love filling the space between us. 
Conjuring the distance and collapsing the air that lay as miles between our bodies.

And as you raged against it, 
I hadn't known, what I know now. 

I would sink then. Into you. 
Like a tar I would flounder in,  foolishly seeking mercy from an unrelenting substance, that only knew consumption. 

Now however, 

I know what it is. 
  Know, I will see you far again but here, 
We must be strangers. 

There is a sickness that rides in this incarnation. 
A Black Death that will renew as the cycles pass, where love can reign again once more. 

You are miles from me...
  And lives as well. 

And I will see you then. 
  And embrace you my love. 
With everything I ever meant to. 

As though this life is cold, 
 So once again, we will learn warmth, 
And we will remember ourselves,

And we will re-unite. 
  Amongst the re-union 


Of the Angels.