In me, You lost your Friend

 

I loved you. 

  And afterall...

You left me no choice. 

  Baring now, 

The heavy draw of your pain, 

  A heartbreak seething 

    That has 

Pulled and pushed me 

  Too far

  Now, 

I watch your heart sopping 

  All over the floor...

It's 

  Degradation of decay 

While still beating...

 And I know, 

    I know...

I have to look you in your pleading and begging 

  Eyes 

  That whimper

"Save me",

   In your death, and ours. 

And the hardest thing to do, 

  To still turn away 

After I kiss your hand and heart and face 

  Goodbye. 

  I have to walk away, 

While you die. 

  But...

You have left in me 

   Upon me

No choice at all. 

  The truth is...

 I love another. 

  The truth....

Hot and heavy with despair 

  as I rip your chords 

From my templed whole. 

  I knew I could not hold you forever, 

In this, our departure 

  and it's evaporation of love. 

Love. 

  Still there, 

Yet formed entirely anew...

And this version of me, 

  My once best friend,

Can not move on with you. 

  It is abandon. 

Never mind my own 

 Or yours upon me....

The wear now 

  Is in what I do to you. 

Good neither 

   For either 

       Of us. 

With a cold hand 

   And walls surrounding my fort...

It is not without a warm heart 

  That I depart. 

  Rather, 

Sunken at my responsibility now...

  To do this for us both. 

Your broken heart, not at my hand, 

  But so obviously might as well be. 

For I take it 

  and I fully consume the tragedy 

  and let it digest 

Within me. It ruminates 

Where I'd prefer it didn't. 

And it cultivates our tragedy 

  In exponentials 

And shakes the travesty reverberating 

  PTSD. 

Coring me. 

  I love him. 

He is not you and never will be. 

  He is my peace. 

My Home, when you burned what was ours down. 

  

  And I have no business here anymore. 

Losing more than a lover...

  But now abandoning a friend. 

I wished you hadn't put this upon me, 

  For in the bed you made, I tuck you in. 

And it is a forced abandon. 

  No choice given at all. 

For it was either me or you...

  And I finally have to make the call. 

In me, You lost your friend 

  And it is what will devastate most of all. 

  This dear love, 

I see. And it had wrenched at me. 

Knowing the loss you set yourself up for, 

 And myself, 

Still having to bleed.