Two of Swords

If ever there was a day

That I was meant to be loved,

It would be now.

To be loved by you.

But you have been a ghost.

And that ghost, has been haunting me with possibilities of promise,

where there has only been carbon underneath.

I stop my habit to reach for a smoke,

or a drink,

and I am forced to sit with the empty proposal,

of another day

of your soul's absence.

Am I loving Ghost's or are they chasing Angels? 

Knotted, My Capacity. Tight and wound up. Lost and aimless.

Holy unfound.

How terribly hopeless it has all felt...like staring into the hole of your future,

Trying to find a place on a timeline you know will never be there.

I had always wondered if you could ever love me like this, suspect somehow,

if I was just fooling myself...

or if you were.

Riddled by nothingness.

And I'm wondering how I could feel that way...

if you love me.

Ash in my mouth.