Baby Blue

 

Every last thing I had....

    I (willingly) gave to him. 

I gave him what was left of the charred flesh inside my chest, hopeful by the buoyant extensions of love he'd endeared 

  I free climbed the deepest abyss 

To muster up the grace and beauty 

  Befitting a mother, 

        and a Wife. 

I lent over every last ounce of patience, 

  Before I would go limp from nothing left to to lend 

 Still, 

  He would beseech me and grope my flesh. 

                     Heart a zombie. 

Eyes blurred and starring through rested tears refusing to fall. 

  It was only when I left....

That I would have to render out, 

  Any energy I might have used for myself. 

He would plea....

   and beg.  He would wrangle me, and withering so, on his knees plead with me to hold him. 

  Beg me to give, 

The little bit in me 

I had left.  Plead with me to kiss him, 

  Even when my heart went inept 

Asking me to not just carry the weight of one abandoned heart, 

  But the weight of his....darkly dying 

and holding so tight, as the light of vision slips

~Then I am your abandoned dreams realized, 

  And still stretching a mangled wing 

      to cradle you. 

I know I could handle my own broken seams. 

  I have golden threads and glue...

But it is in holding the bleeding dove 

  Of your heart, 

  That drowns me depths in the blue. 

I thought I could handle it all. 

  I thought I might have grown the stamina to...

But My God, how disparaging a fall

  and I'm not sure I have the strength for two. 

  

And out of the cold, how heads would role...

   "our friends" quickly taking their sides. 

They were always yours, yet I watch them abashedly abandon you...

  Never mind the slick tongues 

Whispered in cornered eyes. 

So then how remarkable, that I am left with you..

  after each wrong so vehemently denied. 

Yet still I have remained, 

  Stroking your back, 

While you wear, your meloncholied cries. 

I drape and I cover, 

  What I can...

Each time, a piece of me taken. 

  

It sits in gut, as a hole in my stomach

Wrenching, A chord of his forsaken. 

A karma, I bound myself to, 

  Naive then 

And gullible too, 

I thought love could conquer it all. 

Because I believed in me loving you. 

Because I had the faith of God to.

Awoken now, 

   To The Fool's errand. 

An idiot, with all eyes on me. 

Now when I cradle you, 

  and knowing it's true

When they all tell me 

   I have to leave. 

I know I am a martyr in the flesh, 

But then again, 

   He martyred me. 

Seems hardly fair, 

  Baring the weight of two....

 The broken promises of The Ring. 

Seems hardly fair, but I don't want him to drown, 

  So instead he drowns of me.