The Calling

 

Is this 

   "Divine Union"? 

It does not feel like it

For as what resonates and sounds my bell 

  

   Is a constant dissonance- 

A frequencied hum that rattles my blood; 

  That dam's through a constant anxiety

Cortisol rushing my veins

  Flooding me with the shakes 

Tempers caught imploding 

  Before full ruptures and surfaces collapse.

Oh, 

  He means well. Sure. 

Emotionally unregulated. 

  Unmotivated by even his dreams or his Love. 

Quelling the Shine in my eyes and electromagnetic heart, 

So he can be seen, 

  and heard, 

    and received; 

Oh yes, while I go on, 

  Quelling me 

     for him. 

It is Union...

It has its reason. 

It has a purpose. 

I honor what we have done here. 

But he is not my Star. 

and this has long extended past it's expiration. 

It is Divine. Yes. 

  It is Union, indeed. 

But it is NOT Divine Union 

  as He let's in the Devil's creep. 

Rather...

  Quelled it is. 

Hampered. 

Unequal in reciprocity. 

It is veiled in the illusion of his magic hand; 

  a magic trick that had long fooled me. 

It was a mirage, 

  Of "False Flame". 

A lesson, 

   In self love. 

     Self preservation. 

        Surrender. 

          Trust. 

It was a lesson in what I ought to accept

   and what I shouldn't. 

It was love. 

  But no...

Not the Divine Union, 

  Of which I seek. 

    Of which I STILL yearn for body and soul

Fool hearty and all. 

  Hopelessly naive with belief...

That somewhere out there, 

Is still a Twin Flame for me.