When Doubts Creep

 

Whatever it is, I have done...

  I hope you will forgive me. 

After all your words compelled me undone, 

  I hope you will not retreat. 

I spent last night, pouring over your text messages...hoping to find some relief, 

For as my mind, flooded my body 

  I felt the fear permeate- 

"What if you were to leave me?" 

And when I read them, 

  That wouldn't make sense 

But all sense gets burned up in love

  

I doubted myself 

  All day long, 

Searching for your hug. 

  And never it came. 

And not either today. 

  and I'm wondering if you are pondering 

    Giving up 

 

I keep telling myself, 

  Just give him space, 

But this space is burning me up. 

You cracked me open, 

  An eggshell. 

And now a soft running mush 

  feels like a love bomb, 

Proceeded by an empty touch. 

For at least my soul you did, 

And now silence is a dissonance' ring 

  In me...

  Where now you left a gaping space 

Where your words used to be. 

  "Temporary", is what I tell myself; 

"Just let him be". 

  But you cracked me open now proceeded by 

Two days of silent retreat. 

  Two days a win and my defeat. 

For surrendered, my flag waves. 

  What do I have to do, my Love...

To guarantee your stay?