When destiny meets days.
So many shifts going on. So uncanny is "The Oracle Realm". This is an "about me"; a stickered mirror;
A reminder of my own sight.
Reflected through Miss LIGHT....
Moods & Energies: Deaths & Transitions; Spiritually, Emotionally, Energetically Exhausted
I had forgotten how possible it was
To wake up
So out of whack.
Half the day is gone.
Yet not the impressions of the dreams.
More than a taunting,
They had been a living manifestation of my turmoil.
Breathing in my psyche
The repressions I have not unfolded.
A conjunction of foreign beaches met by futuristic havens of vagabonds.
A school I had never seen, with an old flame's face who often walks in, to many a dream.
Something about him- a representation perhaps?
Incarnated Soul Tribe?
I loved him once, but long ago had our path separated and died...
So what was it about Him, specifically,
That he would keep showing up
In my dreams?
He is not Ro. Not Ricky. Not "Aims", whose name now looks foreign to me, as I write it.
So why him?
Odd as it all may seem...
The more efacing matter was the scream.
The relentless casting away from me, my peace.
Pursuant.
Like a Bad dream.
Taunting. Haunting. Casting a great Demon over me.
And upon my wake, oh the shake,
The inability to just quickly shake it off.
Instead it sat upon me, like a massive rock.
Blurred and Bogged,
I would arise, the heavy damp strain beginning to leak from my eyes...
And looking around...
Looking around...
How could I ask anybody to love me now?
The abandonment, a cloak of reminders. The distress addressing my need to pick up the phone-
Only one soul I want to speak to...
But...
It is no time to call.
My anger arises, that no friend he has been,
through my forgiveness of it all.
Tears stream, to no certain trigger at all; rather it seems, I am just a vessel leaking.
And today is just one of those days.
I can't tell, if it's me or him,
Them or us?
The world crying,
and I'm just soaking it all up?
But I suck it up...
and start to the chores.
I suck it up,
but catch myself in the mirror.
Remnants sad to view. A breaking of such a fine soul, and no witness. She will crack
Behind closed doors.
She will cry in silent screams
and cover her wailing in towels and pillows
When she needs.
She will suffer silently.
The love she needs, Never in Hue.
Their needs, her Boot.
She is a shell after all of you.
Another abandoned fragment.
Invisible. Unmet.
Wet, with Dominion.
Starved from Abandon.
Siphoned,
For her life.
Her Light.
Now....
A dying hue.
The dreams were just another reminder of You.
The congestion in my lungs too.
The Smokey char
Of the last five years past.
Coping. Killing myself.
To cope.
It all sat so unbaringly heavy
As to it all, I awoke.
The dreams of Psyche.
The dreams of Smoke.
The canopy I got stuck in.
Height.
Separation.
and Cloak.
Waking up like this. Another day without you.
I think that is the joke.
It is becoming...
One dark. One sick. One ruthless joke
Over me.
While you haunt.
While you taunt.
While you literally say nothing,
Yet telepathy you play.
It is time you stop ruining me.
It is time you say what you need to say.
Because all this...
This is so unfair.
Haunting me so ruthlessly,
and seemingly without a care.
Baby, it's Friday.
Another Friday, for some reason
Which always
Makes me think of you.
Your weekend is coming.
Your day almost done.
Do you in this time,
Contemplate me too?
I love and I hate you,
Emotions running high today.
It is another day I awake
To the reminder of you
Foreverly away
It is not a day,
I had such strength...
Tears like peaking storms through windowsills.
They run like River's today, My Love...
Awaking to the no contact of you.
Everyday.
There is a cloud in my Void...
echoing of only one thing.
I miss you.
My flame dying. Crying.
Forlorn.
What such a heavy life this is,
Without the love from which we are torn.
I mourn. My heart grieving. My face leaking. My Soul carrying weights of all.
Today is no day,
I have any strength to stand,
Let alone to stand tall...or at all.
....yet I got out of bed.
No wishing. No caring. No writing. No loving...
None of them have brought you to me.
None of them have made you my friend.
None of them had seen reciprocity,
Now so long ago and now, in the end.
I bow to your honor.
Then I am of no consequence.
While I have died....
While I have died...
I wonder where anybody has been?
You may be depressed or lost...
But what of your depressed and lost friend?
What of her? What of Him?
And it does today....
Make me hate you for what you have done.
While I have died...
You showed zero grievance. Concern.
Or Love.
While I have died.
At least You knew I loved you.
Before you forged an access denied.
I could die here and now...
And I would never even know
If you cared enough to cry.
You have abandoned me as much
As much as him.
How could I settle so little in this life?
A Dying Star
To nothing there.
A void.
A void.
A death, and a trap.
Today is a day I awoke.
To the joke and the choke
Of being loved up...
Yet receiving no love back.
It is akin to loving a starving squirrel...
Petting and fostering it,
Yet without Food. Water. Concern.
I mourn because they watched an Angel die
Of loneliness.
A heart drown before it burns.
Ash.
All Ash.
That is what these beings will take with them
From her decay.
For they had every opportunity to give her some
But instead,
They just siphoned away.
