The Brick Road

The Life I had set out to lead; 

Instead she had led me. 

Meanings I'd chosen to place words to, now only know words as their meanings.

I loved a great many times, 

But it was man I loved, 

Intertwined with his divinity;

And divinity cracks. 

And we are pools, and puddles, but rarely solid rock. 

I...

Take a step back. 

I...

Thought I knew what it was to love, 

Until I allowed so much to be stripped of me. My social niceties slipped away like robes. My Baren womb, I'd cover up, wilting to the dreams our generations were fed. 

Children are starving, 

And I would be feeling our hunger pains in the plains of my back, 

And the vallys of my gut...

Corporations eat our disease as the money that pays for their breakfast. 

I had been told, 

My whole life...

How much I mattered. 

And how much I didn't. 

Which do you think I was inclined to believe? How long have both beliefs been battlting over sovereignty in me? 

When I pulled back a mirror today, 

I saw myself in your place. 

I had believed you...could...maybe...be...

The...

But...

Then the fear pulled curtains back, or placed them cleverly, 

And I can not tell, 

If merely, 

It could be as easy, 

As letting you from me. 

Who is he? Your friend you love? 

And who are we? 

My shrinking stature, 

Has drunken, Alice's juice, 

And you, 

And you, 

May as well be the Walrus to my Oyster. 

It is only belief that would suggest you will not hurt me. 

Turn me. 

Eat me. 

And swallow whole, with shallow regard. 

He did that to me; God...through the arms of men, 

And women, 

Like Hells reaching claws. 

What will you need and how long will you make me bend? What will you NOT give in return, 

As I attempt to Love myself, so much, it means letting no man love me? 

Even if...

The magic spells, like serendipity...

Life has taught me a great many things...

Most of them requiring so much time to gather the words that will only contradict themselves, as they sing harmonies of truth singularities, 

Making up stacked points, 

Like dimensions.

And time. 

And this moment now. 

And everything that wiw think was lost, how it can never be. 

I am used to loving. 

Letting in to love me...

Is where I hide my face so tears freefall the quickest to dry. 

I can love you vastly...

But it is not out of greed. 

Otherwise I wouldn't be so lonely, 

Loving, 

On a one-sided street.