Tide's Coercion

But I fell. 

That is...

By the time I got around to feeling strong enough to save the world...

Strong enough. Wise. Ready... 

I fell. 

The days would leave me exhausted, without reprise. I would find energy, but only in spurts and breaths. 

I had by that time, 

Grown tired...

A little too deeply. 

So it was, that by the time, 

I could finally stand on my own two feet...

I found I couldn't stand anymore at all. 

It was a fall. 

An invisible one. 

As bed became my enemy, 

And friend once more, 

As I would once again learn; 

That all my existence ever is 

And has been; 

A mere surrendering, 

Ever changing, 

Ever forming 

Tide. 

Hail Storm Halo

I was glad when you showed your colors; 

Needing an excuse was all.

It was always in my nature to love you...but it's true I have grown an armour I couldn't even have before; 

The restaurant industry would do that! 

Loving people like you, in consciousness...

Would do that! 

They succeeded magnanimously! 

I see now, what a fool I had been. 

Your brother treating me better in 3 meager days what I had given you years for. 

He never called though...

Even for a great date, I wouldn't expect him to. 

I didn't mean to. 

But you were so mean. 

And I guess, I decided...

So could I be. 

Besides...

You straight up said you don't want me. 

So...

I let you not have me, and shared myself instead. 

Mostly because I loved you, with Haunt. 

In insane love only, did my actions make sense. 

It is one or two years later..

And him with me- 

Not about you. 

But I thought about you, didn't i? 

Reflection. 

And words like sociopath, counteract drunken I Love you's and "never returned". 

Your birthday passed. 

And although I am glad we are not together, I know our Kharma burns. 

You treat me like I'm trash, 

So I let myself be trash to you, 

While I adorn myself in Goddess amulets, and allow the distant worship of far away men. 

In reality, 

I leave you all behind and focus anew. 

Love, 

Is love, 

And there are certain things it wouldn't do...

So u forgive you...

But I will not forget how you have met me. Without asking why I looked like I was dying, while I was going on, 

Living for you. 

But I am glad I see your smokey tongues, and gel, like tar, as words that stick without thought. I deserve to be loved, the way I love. And while I was willing to be consumed by you...I have laid her down- the teenage lost soul, that would sell any part of herself for a little need. 

Love is scarce. I accept that! 

Knowing, it is on me, to create. Spread. And find. 

She had been a crazy hail storm, and I'm just trying to aquaint myself better this time! 

The Brick Road

The Life I had set out to lead; 

Instead she had led me. 

Meanings I'd chosen to place words to, now only know words as their meanings.

I loved a great many times, 

But it was man I loved, 

Intertwined with his divinity;

And divinity cracks. 

And we are pools, and puddles, but rarely solid rock. 

I...

Take a step back. 

I...

Thought I knew what it was to love, 

Until I allowed so much to be stripped of me. My social niceties slipped away like robes. My Baren womb, I'd cover up, wilting to the dreams our generations were fed. 

Children are starving, 

And I would be feeling our hunger pains in the plains of my back, 

And the vallys of my gut...

Corporations eat our disease as the money that pays for their breakfast. 

I had been told, 

My whole life...

How much I mattered. 

And how much I didn't. 

Which do you think I was inclined to believe? How long have both beliefs been battlting over sovereignty in me? 

When I pulled back a mirror today, 

I saw myself in your place. 

I had believed you...could...maybe...be...

The...

But...

Then the fear pulled curtains back, or placed them cleverly, 

And I can not tell, 

If merely, 

It could be as easy, 

As letting you from me. 

Who is he? Your friend you love? 

And who are we? 

My shrinking stature, 

Has drunken, Alice's juice, 

And you, 

And you, 

May as well be the Walrus to my Oyster. 

It is only belief that would suggest you will not hurt me. 

Turn me. 

Eat me. 

And swallow whole, with shallow regard. 

He did that to me; God...through the arms of men, 

And women, 

Like Hells reaching claws. 

What will you need and how long will you make me bend? What will you NOT give in return, 

As I attempt to Love myself, so much, it means letting no man love me? 

Even if...

The magic spells, like serendipity...

Life has taught me a great many things...

Most of them requiring so much time to gather the words that will only contradict themselves, as they sing harmonies of truth singularities, 

Making up stacked points, 

Like dimensions.

And time. 

And this moment now. 

And everything that wiw think was lost, how it can never be. 

I am used to loving. 

Letting in to love me...

Is where I hide my face so tears freefall the quickest to dry. 

I can love you vastly...

But it is not out of greed. 

Otherwise I wouldn't be so lonely, 

Loving, 

On a one-sided street.