The Mirror

What a fool I was, wasn't I? 

I peer back Darling, I peer back. 

Do you know that in all the whoms of which I loved, you imprinted on me?

Do you realize how all their faces, 

 Came and gone, 

Slinking away into ambiguous memories...

Slipped away to me, 

In the phase of your existence? 

Would you love me harder? 

 More tender than he? 

I can not imagine, Darling...that you would, or could? 

Not in the ash of your absence- how indeed I never got to put my hand to your face, 

And look you in your eyes, 

So we could see, what of it was real? 

I always meant to. 

I always wanted to. Play with your fire. 

Do you recall that you never let me? 

Left me? 

That 5 years had passed? And another. 

And he showed up. 

He showed up. 

Do you recall how you never did? 

Did we both squander our fate away? 

Because I tried hard to love you...

and you, wouldn't have it. 

You wouldn't. 

So I did. I took you into my soul, in the darkest of hollow points, and I never...

Not once..

Let you go from me. 

I decayed there, with you....

In our dark corner of my insides. 

And when he showed up, 

It was another life he got, 

Another wife. 

A different woman than the one you might have known. 

And we made our way. 

And we struggle everyday. 

And I am learning to define love, 

 Both through him...

And against the mirror we had left shattered in our room, now abandoned. 

Once a portal, now a prison. 

There is nothing left for us. 

Somewhere...I think he knows. 

He knows that what I felt for you was something else.... 

and he has gathered that at one point, perhaps you....

Found a place in your heart you would not release me from, however temporarily. 

And I feel you between us. 

And I miss you. 

And while these words have no place in the pit of my being, our small, locked and damp room- 

I restored the mirror, 

 So I can see you...

And myself, 

Looking back.