Regurgitate

I am trying to spit out your memory. 

To regurgitate the thoughts on repeat 

That seem to revolve in my gut. 

To forgive and forget, through the lost notion of being disregarded like flesh and sex, 

When it was love and honor that brought me to you. 

 

I 

Am trying to throw you out, for you have already gone, but like a music box, 

We play over and over in my head. 

 

You lied. 

And pretended to be clear in conscious. 

And took...

While never feeling the same. 

No explain argon, but a coward's. 

No sanctity, replaced by what's stolen. 

Precious memories, like cakes and circuses; never genuine; 

How do I swallow that? 

When I swallowed you? 

The Seed, the Mirror, the Man

The words, they will mean nothing

As I box away our memory, 

You and I. 

Like sand leaking an hour glass, our hour has past, as like your words, 

We can never get back. 

Like a bubble popped, 

Dreams quickly become blighted realities. 

I was real to the possibility 

Of waking up; 

And allowing you to shake me, up. 

It was no more real, than I imagine cheap words would render; 

Things said without half the integrity they deserve, 

And other things almost blatantly taken...

Had I not been so willing to give them up. 

I pulled your hair, 

Like it was me, gasping for the breath our touch would take from one another. 

I let you pass. 

Because you said you might, and so what more have I, but to bow-  

A loving respect as I suck up the blow. 

Tears blocked. Locked up. 

Too, I allow you to pass once more. 

It is a loss I can take. Calculated. And still lost nonetheless. Rather today than tomorrow. 

And there will always be, 

Your slight memory. 

As much as I'd love to bury it or set it aflame, 

It is a seed now, I journey from. 

A goodbye. 

A knowing, that I must walk away. 

And so I shall. As so shall she.