Frontier

 

Out of you, 

  I walked; an abandoned desert 

Of citadels and copulation. 

  We had in fact, 

Dared to dream.  The dimension of you 

  Poured into me, 

Scoured my insides 

as if searching for a bug. 

  What, did you find? 

The anomaly of the water spigot

  Placed you 

Under me. Powdered flesh pressed up against mine. 

Your soul was on fire, yet you were blind. 

  My Soul was asunder 

When I declared you mine. 

  Our bodies were temporal. 

They only marked something awfully more reverent and nail-biting 

  As years of nothingness, 

Grew into vapid voids of obsessions. 

And whether I was marked by a holy eye 

  Or uttterly indecent with distorted absurdity...

  There was no thing in this universe, 

I would let pry me, 

      Of you. 

My Love stood, raw and whipped 

 Masochistically, protesting 

Watching you brood

  If at all, it had meant you loved me. 

It became a stand-off, its planked refusal 

  to belly in challenge. 

  

She was graceful, 

and I was whimpering, tending the ripped flesh 

  with dirty fingertips, 

 All sorts of Earthly things upon them; a faerie child lost to the wilderness. 

  A frontier we birthed. Dry. 

      Hopeless. 

  Desolate. Barren. 

Sun Parched. Food starved. 

  A Hell of Death, 

our natural environment now-

    even in the way...

We loved one another. 

It was as if, 

  I could not reach you here, 

  Permitting in an echo chamber, 

Next to your ear, but you only heard me in faint and far of winds 

  Slighter than any incline of intuition. 

 Instinct numbed centuries ago. 

  In another life. 

In to the next.  

  I will not miss this land. 

Nor the ghost it left of your Shadow. 

It is you...

  I will always miss. 

Like a vase never knowing the flowers. 

Spent only a decade here, of more

  Mourning the death...

Of a man who can never return. 

Of a husband I had known once; 

  met once. 

  Before the ghost town 

Darkened, and just overnight 

  The second Fall took

Before our last Spring. 

  A ghost town 

That voided your soul....

  and chained my heart and bones 

      To dirt and clay. 

 To the Desert hell of decay. 

Chained it to a memory 

  That was long lost, 

The first Summer day. 

  And you, Husband. 

    You, vanished. 

You left me there. 

   Sometimes a ghost. 

And sometimes a man posed as flesh. 

   It took me years after you left, 

       Before I fled. 

  Instead.  

  I let the Desert take me.  

I gave it up. Not irrationally, 

But as if my soul had already been taken. 

  As if now, I a ghost 

Made of flesh, my graveyard

  The Hell of no escape. 

Any place without you. Worth nothing from the worlds here, I have seen. 

  So...

I gave it all up. 

  15 years later...

I walk now out of this land, Ours

  a refugee. 

   A spell only nearly broken in days or hours, 

Groggy and wearing off decades of facade. 

  An illusion losing shape. 

A coming to. 

  A spell...

Worn to its last grain of bone.