A Phoenix Heart

Maybe if just to tie my heart in a noose.
So to can't fall loose.
So it can't breathe the in's and out's of Men's fickle truths;
So I don't have to hide or soothe.

My heart is a head tilted down,
A flower wilted and drowned.
A solemn division for attention,
Never found.
A weeping epitome
Having lost it's sound.

It is a scream only full of silence,
A desperation knowing no mirror-
What is in me, a disturbing distance
Of having no love returned here.

My value, a bird unreturned to it's nest,
My discipline, the meeting of the rest
I'm walking, walking a shoreline
With only ghosts of love as my past.

Even the faces of trust,
An illusion of shattered dust
Even my faces of Love,
A seizing of rust.

Summer to Autumn
Promise of Sun, unengaged
Temperatures of Warmth
Quickly turning to Haze

My Shoreline, chilly, and so longingly of the deep
I am alone here again once more
Just a Future, a chill, and me.

In the black blue against the sea,
It is not that all is lost..
But I was beginning to Love once more,
And even that's been lost.

One set of prints in the sand,
One thing taken once more...
So used to being taken for what I have,
As quickly as it slips out the door.

So maybe, If just to tie my heart in a noose,
And no more can be taken of...
As a man promises to love a flower,
But how easily Plucked, then given up.

Never knowing,
Never knowing,

Any damage left and done

As if locked away, to be forgotten so, something in me fades
A promise of Love, never honored
A tempest of mascarades.

So what was love,
But a loss of all,
A fire set ablaze,
Unmet and matched
And consuming all
As a spark one neglected to tame.

As easy it was to start something so,
I watched him walk away..
Leaving me in desperation so,
As I burned and caught all in flame.

And yet in a center of Ash,
The dust of condition, my heart still remains-
A pheonix so, but I wonder still,
If to procure death through rope, stead of flame.

Black Butterfly Leaks

No thing can fill a leaking vessel,
And at the seams,
I am dripping dry.

No ration left in me;
What grace?
My Love is all over the floor, a puddle around me bare,
Evaporating
And
My eyes down,

Wondering how a life could become this still image,
This endless leak,
Of myself at my own feet.

Here, I am looking at God, left of bruises as reflections of me, and cries for death that echo whispering screams from my liquid mirror.
The beauty seems trapped in the dark reflections that meet no escape-

A Black Butterfly
Evaporating away.

There is no filling
A seeping vessel; I just leak-

That is what God and I are up to;

We are in me
Dripping together,
Watching, together,
And slowly I am evaporating with the scene.
Drying up.
Parched.

Watching...
Myself all over the floor.

Fire Dance

My heart dies everyday;
You have awakened it's fire-

A vivid portrait, I'm afraid,
Of breathing in slights
I remember now,
Being undeserving of.


You shudder,
And I sway
Just left or right
To balance the trot we tamper with.

As coy and tempered as I, underneath it all stirs relentlessly
Foolishly and weak
Reaping already
Starved seeds sown,

Then plucked.

If it's not seeing me that scares me,
It's being seen.

Rot with havoc, intestines turned,
I Un-nerve, paralyzingly my own body-

The thought of being burned again is a memory of melting flesh and the smell of brazen fire, against freckles for ash.
the scars intrude far past my skin, leaviing the lingering of agony,
Even in the after-math.
What is a burned girl and is she desirable for dance? The dance that made her what she is?
It took me once.
And now, I can't say I recognize what's been made.
Is there still love even beneathe my fresh flesh?
Is it worthy?
Will the audience have me?
Will she ever be loved?
After, all

I am just a burned girl.
What grace in Cindered pores?
What God in ovens of power?
I can't tell...

Has the fire won?
Have I let it?

Neptune

I don't want to peel again,
Or be reborn.

The water in the soil is seeping in,
And what's amassing, a root or a thorn;
inward
Is Stirring a storm.

I think I feel the sea and might
But second-guessed, I linger-
A tree taken away one night,
Awash and all.

Entranced and tracing,
I wade to thee
Upon your motion
And the way we breathe,
Lulled and lulling
Yet can not I sleep.

I wonder what this'll reap?
A relationship of doom?
Faith and death.

As I walk faith-bound,
Hypnotized to the far side of the moon
Entrenched I find myself waist deep
In the thick of you.
Wading,
Wading,

And the tide coming in...

Neptune is an illusion....

But I am staring at it, beyond the moon,
Much beyond,
Knowing he was the last to save me..

Lulled and lulling,
Wading.

Tide...

Coming in...